Connect and Grow

Written from a perspective of a woman Males may portray themselves as the most powerful creatures alive, acting as though they do not care about anything. In fact, studies have shown that even slight alterations in the environment have a significant impact on one's ego and sense of worth. "A man's inability to perform well irritates his ego enough; when you add the fact that his partner is performing much better, it wears him down mentally and destroys his self-esteem." When a woman enters a world where men are constantly competing with one another, the perception of the majority of men is altered. Relationships between people, both personally and professionally, can be greatly impacted by the fact that a woman is performing better than a male.The idea that a woman might ever do anything better than him makes him feel inferior. In a relationship, the roots run deeper, and men who are less successful financially or otherwise than their spouses tend to have worse se...

it is very common when people people address someone as arrogant or confident. People often misinterpret arrogance with confidence. There is a very distinct border between these nouns which people often overlook and consider a confident person arrogant.  Confidence and arrogance are two completely different personality trait of a person. Confidence is the belief within oneself or other people which we develop only when we have a complete knowledge or when we have a full trust on others knowledge. But arrogance doesn't need knowledge. It is a pride that one has for herself/himself and when one overlooks other people’s skill or knowledge and think highly about themselves. Confidence is something which we feel about us but arrogance is something that others may feel about us. For instance we have confidence even when we are alone doing our work but we are not arrogant until we have someone else around us. So, our arrogance is felt by others whereas our confidence is felt by ourselve...

Sometime back, I was invited to an event by a friend . It was a mother -daughter dinner. I was so thrilled to take my daughter out since she had just come from school and I had missed her so much. I wanted her to know that I love and care for her. Our night went so well and I loved the concept of mother-daughter dinner ahead of Mothers day,. The speech by the host was amazing and I left the place feeling happy as a mother. On our way home, I told my daughter that the dinner was amazing and hoped that she enjoyed too. Her response startled me and my EGO crushed . She was not impressed , she was not happy and that next time, I should not force her to accompany me to events she does not like. At first, I wanted to yell on her for being ungrateful as a child. I wanted to school her that she was privileged to have a mother who can take her out. I wanted to tell her that I will never take her out again! neither should she expect me to support her outings in any way! But.... I didn...

Extended family relationships are the bedrock of African culture.  They place huge expectations and somehow unreasonable burden on a family member who is perceived to be better off than others. For married couples, the burden doubles. Your family lineage and that of your spouse expect some form of support from you. Often a lot of small family issues unspoken and undressed could lead to extensive family conflicts and hatred. When untamed, extended fami ly pressure leads to chronic depression and anxiety. “Family is supposed to be our safe haven.  Very often it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache”. Iyanla Vanzant As an African woman, I had embraced the culture of extended family support as a foundation of  Umunthu . I had never complained about my small acts of charity to my immediate siblings believing in the adage that " charity begins at home" . Sadly though, greater pressure for more support to adult siblings became an entitle...