My lesson with Toxic family expectations.
Extended family relationships are the bedrock of African culture. They place huge expectations and somehow unreasonable burden on a family member who is perceived to be better off than others. For married couples, the burden doubles. Your family lineage and that of your spouse expect some form of support from you. Often a lot of small family issues unspoken and undressed could lead to extensive family conflicts and hatred. When untamed, extended fami ly pressure leads to chronic depression and anxiety. “Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache”. Iyanla Vanzant As an African woman, I had embraced the culture of extended family support as a foundation of Umunthu . I had never complained about my small acts of charity to my immediate siblings believing in the adage that " charity begins at home" . Sadly though, greater pressure for more support to adult siblings became an entitle...